@ 2009-02-28 – 10:13:20
Hugh Hefner had recently replaced two of his six girlfriends with the lovely twin airheads (maybe not!), Kristina & Karissa.
"... double trouble! "
"..body painted * ride!"
" ... clearly, without a doubt, you could see in their eyes how they love him so dearly??.."
Hugh Hefner 82y old shares his bed with 6 of these young women.
"One to put it in and 5 to move him around?"
*you're just jealous! - says my imaginary friend!*
@ 2009-02-28 – 01:01:49
FREIDA PINTO, model, actor, star of OSCAR Winner, 2009 Best Picture, The Slum Dog Millionaire.
@ 2009-02-28 – 00:27:38
PLEASE CLICK THE FULL SCREEN BUTTON!
".. the children of Mumbai slums are the real winners and have won millions of hearts - including this one!"
"..gorgeousssssssss!!!"
@ 2009-02-27 – 23:30:17
My friend looked devastated today, he was dumped again by his latest girlfriend.
He sighed: "Being in mid 30's and single sucks!"
Me: "You're young, got a good job and looks quite good, what's the problem!"
He: "She said, I'm not old enough to be interesting and not young enough to be exciting!"
Me: 
@ 2009-02-27 – 23:13:34
In a recent survey of 50,000 women in the Canada on what is a woman's ultimate fantasy , 90 %
have replied:
" To have two men at the same time."
" One to do the cooking,
and the other to do the cleaning!" 
* you can leave your chef hat and aprons on - she says! * 
@ 2009-02-27 – 06:56:10
Pamela Anderson, PETA spokesperson, model has been accused of cruelty and abuse to the canadian 'beaver'.
*american bald eagle -canada's bald beaver*
@ 2009-02-26 – 06:42:55
From 20 cigarettes a day, I'm down to six.
Only now, I realize how powerful drug nicotine is..
It is tough to quit... very tough ...I'm trying..!
...I have to - HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
@ 2009-02-24 – 22:46:17
OMG!.. as I make the sign of the "cruz".. sighs.. "yay..yay..yay.. que'l bonita!!"
Please click for big!
"...err.. will you marry me?"
*barcelona dreams*
*penelope nights*
@ 2009-02-22 – 16:14:10
KLICK MI BIG!
..and you got lovely long legs! ..like the rose! 
*Dr. Tuscan*
@ 2009-02-21 – 00:17:43
An 86 year old man had bought some Viagra tablets and asked the pharmacist if she could cut each tablet into fours.
The pharmacist noticing the man's age politely advised him:
" I don't think 1/4 Viagra will give you full erection sir!"
Quite annoyed the old man replied:
" I don't need a full erection, I just don't wanna pee on my shoes!"
*the angle of the dangle is equally proportional to the heat of the meat* (Phytogaras-not)
@ 2009-02-18 – 23:47:37
CARTOON BY AISLIN/ Montreal Gazette
President Barack Obama, as American tradition goes, makes his first foreign visit first in Canada whom it shares the largest unprotected border in the world between two countries.
It is more of a courtesy visit, a 5 hour seperate chit chat with the sitting Prime Minister Steven Harper and most likely the next Prime Minister, leader of the opposition Michael Ignatief.
The brief meeting has a big agenda. The recently passed trillion dollar stimulus package in the U.S. Congress has protectionist measures that is a big concern for Canada, being it's biggest trading partner.Obama may ask for the continuance of Canada's military support in Afghanistan. Obama will recommend a U.S.-Canada environmental policy and may point out for Canada to minimze the pollution caused by Canada's Oil Sands. Harper could help the struggling President with regards to managing the banking system, no Canadian banks have fallen nor been bailed out in Canada. Harper could lecture the President how to provide a universal medicare as we have in Canada.
It will be a very productive short meeting but the results will have a significant impact for both countries.
The conversation will probably go like this:
HARPER: Welcome to Canada Mister President! Bonjour Bienvenu au Canada, Monsieur le President!
OBAMA: Hi Steven! Aloha! Actually I come here very often, my bro in law lives in Burlington, Ontario!
HARPER: Oh, welcome again then eh! Have a sit then!
OBAMA: If you don't mind, could we take a walk, I'm dieing for a smoke.
HARPER: Sure, let me just remind the mounties we're heading outside.
OBAMA: I don't want to admit but I admire Canada.
HARPER: Ssshh and John Wayne is my idol.
OBAMA: Tell me about your Medicare, how can you provide each person free medical care?
HARPER: We slash the middle class income to half to pay for the rich, the poor and the bums.
OBAMA: You get the same treatment and doctor for everybody?
HARPER: No, I go to the States for major treatment.
OBAMA: What?
HARPER: Well, all our best doctors here went to the States since their salaries are capped in Canada, whereas sky is the limit money wise for them in the U.S.
OBAMA: No banks have fallen in Canada, how did you do that?
HARPER: All Canadian banks are chartered, government controlled and everything is strictly
regulated with full transparency. We don't run banks like Casinos as you do.
OBAMA: Thank you for your continuous help in routing the Taliban in Afghanistan.
HARPER: We believe the mission in Afghanistan is a just cause on war on terror, although not a single firecracker was thrown by Al Q'aeda in Canada, I'd see what I can do but Canadian soldiers would rather teach Afghans street hockey than fight.
HARPER: We are concerned about the protectionist measures in your stimulus package.
OBAMA: I believe in free trade but there are millions of Americans out of work. What do you suggest?
HARPER: Thousands of Canadian spend their money in Florida in the winter months and thousand more retire 6 mos a year in West Palm Beach and Fort Lauterdale. The whole of Burlington and Plattsburg is Quebec's giant mall. Macdonalds, Walmart, Home Depot, Microsoft all these U.S. Companies are making millions here. And more importantly if you ban imports of Cnaadian goods you won't have your "blackberry"!
OBAMA: I got to keep my blackberry, no trade barrier between us then, deal?
HARPER: Deal!
OBAMA: Do you play hoops?
HARPER: Do you play curling?
OBAMA: Cheers! I have to meet your opposition leader.
IGNATIEF: Hi Mr. Prsident, My name is Mikhail Ignatieff!
OBAMA: You have a funny name like me, you may just end up a Prime Minister.
IGNATIEFF: My great grandfather was a Czar in Russia sir!
OBAMA: And my grandfather is one of the most celebrated hero of World War II and he's Irish, don't you see the resemblance? You're Russian, don't worry I won't shoot you,
Sarah Palin may. I've heard of you as a brilliant scholar, academic and best selling novelist. You must have made so much contribution to Canadian society.
IGNATIEFF: Actually I've lived in Canada for only 6 years! Can I offer you vodka and caviar?
OBAMA: Next time, but I prefer the Canadian Moosehead beer and Atlantic salmon if you don't mind. Great to meet you Mr. Gorbachav!
IGNATIEFF: It's Ignatieff sir!
OBAMA: *whatever*
SHANIA TWAIN: You've heard sir, I'm divorced now!
OBAMA: Text me!
SARAH MCLAUGHLAN: me too!
OBAMA: Time is up!
LEONARD COHEN: Hallelujah!
CEILINE DION: Can I sing you "My Heart Will Go On" , sir?
OBAMA: " No, You Can't!"
Then Air Force One disappeared south from the northern snowy skies...
*bald eagle and the geese*
*canuck geese and beavers*
@ 2009-02-18 – 00:25:38
A recent report published in the January issue of the Journal on Neuroscience, suggests that women distinguish the odour of men's sexual sweat (pheromone) from regular sweat.
A group of men were used for the study and each men held absorbent pads under their armpits as they watched a neutral film and again another set of pads for an erotic film. Then they had a group of women smell the sexual smell and the neutral smell from the three men reported to have the highest sexual arousal. All women were monitored by magnetic resonance imaging and noted that two regions of the brain, the right orbitofrontal cortex and the right fusiforn region, reacted actively more to the sexual sweat than the regular sweat.
Denise Chen, assistant professor of Psychology at Rice University, lead author of the study
concludes that women's brain treat sexual smell differently from other odours, but the hypothalamus, known to be the part of the brain that triggers sexual behaviour did not respond significantly.
Chen said that based on this conclusions, does not suggest that men could improve their sex lives by refraining from bathing nor to convey that human sweat is an aphrodisiac.
Source: NICOLAS BAKALAR, New York Times
Well, here's one scent that works:
I asked my Italian friend what his favourite scent of a woman, he said: "lemon pledge and tomato sauce!"
*ooppsss run for cover!*
@ 2009-02-17 – 23:28:45
Suspicious of his wife having an affair, Joe decided to come home early one day.
True enough, he found his wife in bed with his best friend.
He pulled out his gun and shot him dead.
His wife got out of the dead man's body, got out of bed and confronted her husband.
and angrily she told him:
"You know, if you keep doing this, you gonna loose all your friends!"
@ 2009-02-15 – 09:55:03
Madonna continues to stir shockwaves in the media, at 50 she wants to prove she's still hot and still got it. Her latest make-out in Rio photo-shoot photos circulated around the net with 22y old Jesus Luz in the March issue of W magazine is already the Top on Google list.
...give it to me!...
@ 2009-02-15 – 09:11:04
In the Theology class in kindergarden of a Catholic school, the teacher was instructing the kids that Jesus or God is everywhere. One boy suddenly raised his hand so the teacher asked him: "Yes John, do you want to say something?"
The boy answered: "Yes, Jesus lives in my bathroom!"
The class roared in laughter and the teacher, quite surprised of the peculiar place where Jesus might be asked John anxiously: " Well, I guess but how do you know he's in your bathroom John?"
To which John answered: "Well, every morning I hear my Dad screaming Jesus Christ are you still in there!!"
ok bye!
@ 2009-02-14 – 17:32:32
Here's few men singing their heartfelt rendition of this all time classic, Enjoy!
*Good body language! 
like his Big BERTA Golf driver mic..*
*This guy is a molester I think! or in bad need of suppository! Do you notice that laser light? I think somebodys='s aiming him between the eyes! 
*
*WTF is he singing?..lost in translation..*
this is perhaps the proper way to sing this song:
Happy Val.....whatever!!!
@ 2009-02-14 – 16:24:14
Forget about my Valentine's plan to take my lady out for dinner in Little Italy, I ended up going to the clinic as yet another bronchitis and more anti-biotics.
On my way home, I got some dark chocolate truffles and her favourite flowers that I never fail
to give her, come snow or come shine... hey I'n not tagged "caballero" for nothing!
Oh well, I'm gonna get lots of TLC and cuddles in bed ... no French kissing though and the only exchange of fluids allowed is the chicken soup! ...ooppsss!!
Hope you had a better one than I do! 
@ 2009-02-14 – 09:30:31
Alex Rodriguez and Guy Richie just received their Valentine cards from Madonna di Pompei, 50 with 22 years old model Jesus de Brazil:
PLEASE CLICK FOR DETAILS!
Jesus Luz, a Brazilian model making $200 per shoot has instantly risen to a celebrity status now commanding a $100,000 per photo shoot. Not bad!
Meanwhile Madonna's current beau, $10 million New York Yankee's baseball slugger Alex Rodriguez just admitted of being stupid and taking drug enhancing steroids.
bahhh... the life of the rich and stupids...maybe not!
@ 2009-02-14 – 08:50:14
Flowers evoke passionate messages for me and you don't send me flowers unless they are:
I love a single rose, solitary, red red, passionate ..
I love the bird of paradise, exotic, bold and raw ..
I love orchids the best, rare, delicate and wild, tropical, erotic...
What flowers do you like?
@ 2009-02-11 – 23:02:43
After attending an emotional funeral services on Monday of my ex wife's father who had remained a close friend, another bad news that my Mom is back at intensive care, my mother in law is also at ICU for liver complications and myself going to a bronchoscophy exam yesterday, it has been tough few days for me. I apologize for not having been able to answer your comments and missing your posts.
If it was a bit of consolation, yesterday's broncoscophy exam was assisted by four gorgeous female medical technicians, one respiratory technician , her assistant, an anestesiologist and a hot young intern just made my blood pressure and pulse reading slightly above normal.
For a while, I was enjoying their company until they sedated me and knock me out cold and that was the end of my temporary harem fantasy and the pulmonary specialist doctor inserted the tube and mini camera down my nostril and made a SPACE ODDESSY down my throat and my lungs taking photographs along it's way.
The good news is the doctor did not find any blockage in the respiratory tracks, although he sent some enzymes for lab test. I have one final blood test to do and a CT scan to undergo to
finally know the results.
I got rid of my pneumonia and dry cough, although still quite physically and emotionally drained from all this ordeal.
What's next? The cat died?
"Bahhh, I'm still goin' out for Saturday's Valentines for a bit of vino and perhaps grab the mic to serenade my funny Valentine!"
@ 2009-02-05 – 19:01:10
Everybody close to me is either in some kind of trouble or ill or dieing,
and I don't feel 100% myself either...
I just had it!
F***K ALL THIS SHIT!!!! @#&*~##@$)
@ 2009-02-03 – 23:28:27
Barbie is 50.
Born Barbara Millicent Roberts on March 9, 1959, in Willows, Wisconsin, Barbie, the 11 ½-inch, or 29-centimeter, tall doll, is the top-selling toy in the world. She has traveled the world and worked more than 100 different jobs over the past half century. But Barbie's real profession is a supermodel. The doll's manufacturer, Mattel, has estimated that more than one billion fashion items have been created for Barbie and her friends in the collection since 1959.
My daughter also grew up with Barbie and had a wide collection of her dolls and used to dress her up in different costumes over the years:
PLEASE CLICK FOR BIG!
..oh well..my boy also few times undressed her up:
..ahh well few times, when I was young I also fooled around with "barbieturates"!! (joke)
@ 2009-02-01 – 23:56:01
In the beginning, in the garden of Eden....
Eve offered Adam the forbidden fruit,
Adam was tempted and tasted it,
and the world was never the same again...
*is that why men have adam's apple?*
@ 2009-02-01 – 23:09:22
I'm feeling a lot better, breathing a lot easier and coughing a bit less
and may be able to sing in a few days or so.
Just to try my lungs and vocal chords I did this excercise:
I think I'm fine...whadyathink?
@ 2009-02-01 – 01:39:40
A young lady full of life
Which every post she writes
she gives me all the smileys
and makes me days so happy
She fills my heart with such delight
Her warmth thaws even the most frigid northern nights
Suddenly days so grey, turns sunny and bright
She sends the warm winds from faraway country
ol' land of "conquestadors", passionate women and the warm blue sea
Where life is a "fiesta" the way it should be
who spreads her joy, for all to see,
A lovely "princesa" by the sea
A "bela portuguesa" named... "KIKI"
"bela a la praia"
I wanted to sing you a song but there would be too many *coughing* interruptions at the moment, instead I bribed San Pedro for my idol, the ol' blue eyes to come back to earth to sing with Antonio Carlos Jobim just once a gain only for you!
I know it's a bit bresil, but it's dedicated to the girl from Lisboa instead of Ipanema.
Feliz Aniversario Bela Princesa de Lisboa!
xx
davij
*(new pic added from original post)
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