Archive - Flip

Prime Minister Harper, ruling for 2 years now of a minority Conservative government has persuaded the Liberals and National Democrats to bring on an election. This election call is unprecedented in Canadian history as there was no non confidence motion nor the minority Conservative party is defeated in the House. The Governor General legally can stop this election as it is seen as it maybe a precedent that a ruling minority government can call an election to its advantage when polls are favourable, but this is unlikely and Canadians will go to the polls on October 14.

The American convention the past two weeks, the most viewed program in Canada, Canadian candidates lack the soap opera like biographies of the all the U.S. candidates dramatically portrayed as American heroes. From a Tom Cruise like top gun, maverick, POW MaCain, to a gifted black American Obama, of mix pedegree, despite all odds, the thin black guy with funny name, who rose above racism and excelled at Harvard and the Senate, himself the embodiment of the American dream to Sarah Palin, the rifle firing, moose gutting, grass root talking, hockey mom, the outspoken, former beauty queen, now the sexy Governor of Alaska, their stories all worthy of a Hollywood epic movie.

In contrast we know fuck all much about our Canadian candidates except that Stephen Harper,
the current PM was a former Western separatist, a closet right wing Republican who sent the limited Canadian Military resources in combat to do the American job in Afghanistan, a break in the tradition of Canadians as Peacekeepers, a role invented by former PM and Nobel winner Lester B. Pearson. Now he want to take on the Russians at the disputed Artic territory and planning to send Canada's only submarine to the North Pole. The only problem is that Cnada's only, a second hand bargain bought from UK, caught on fire in its maiden voyage from U.K. to Newfoundland. Oh yeah, he shakes his kids hands to say goodbye after dropping them off at school.

Canada's John Wayne

Then there is Stephane Dion, of the Liberal Party, the nerdy professor, whose name always hyphenated with B.Sc.B.A.M.A.Ph.D, in what nobody knows. He is also not fluent in the official language spoken all over Canada - English! His discourse on Kyoto, kyoto,kyoto, carbon tax and recycling and nothing else is just plain boring. His biggest problem is his nerdy image that turns off both women and women likening him to that of an overgrownchild who constantly plays with his ding-aling!

Quebec Kung Fu Fightin'

Finally there is the National Democrat's bemoustached Jack Layton, who looks like your General Manager at the local Chrysler Car Dealership, probably the best looking of the three, but a man of generalities without substance and funny speaker with funny little hand gestures, but may yet be the one party that will gain seats because of the not too convincing leaders of the two biggest parties.

"Jackman Returns!"