flip

No matter how a couple are attracted to each other,
most frequently it's the things we say and do that drives each other nuts, Here are few scenarios, some of them can turn ugly:

One day the housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to her, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

A young newly married couple just lying down lazily in bed one morning talking about their future. She whispers in his ear, "I would love to have 3 children." He answered, "I'd like only two." She insisted, "No, I think three would be fun!" After a long pause, he answered, "Listen, after the 2nd one, I'll have a vasectomy!" She thought for a moment, then replied, "Would you consider the 3rd one your child just the same even if is not yours?"

The husband asked his wife what is her biggest fantasy. She answered,
"I would like to have two men at the same time!". Confused and bewildered, the husband told her angrily, "That is insane, I am the only one who must have sex with you!" She laughs and answered, "I meant one man cleaning and the other one cooking!"

The wife was standing naked in front of the mirror unhappy looking at her body sighs to her husband, expecting some consolation, compliments and re-assuraance, "I am fat, my boobs are drooping, my ass is huge.." The husband never even took a glance and replied with smirk, "Well you got your eyesights perfect!"
Apparently, he never heard the shot!

Suddenly feeling guilty about neglecting his wife needs, the husband decided to take the the afternoon off and surprise his wife for an afternoon delight. He came home and his wife was not in the living room nor the kitchen, he quietly walked to the bedroom and opens the door and to his surprise caught his wife making out with his best friend. In rage, he pulled out his gun and shot him dead. The wife looked at him in disgust and anger and told him,"If you keep doing this, you gonna loose all your friends!"

Here's the way it should be, from Herman's Kermits, Hermits I meant!

"papapa....so how's da weather babe?"

" Thou shall not covet thy neighbors wife!" is one of the 10 commandments and disobedience meant mortal sin punishable after death.

Three guys who just died recently met St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter explained that Heaven is a vast space of paradise and one must have a good vehicle to go around and depending on how faithful they were towards their wives will determine what vehicles they will be given.

He addressed the first guy: "How many times have you cheated on your wife?"
He tried to remember, then reluctantly answered: " I think, 5,6 or more..."
Then St. Peter told him: "Okay, take the Chrysler K car and get in!"

St. Peter asked the second guy and he answered:
" Only once, St. Peter, but I was drunk!"
St. Peter pointed the Toyota Corolla to take and enter the gates!

The same question was asked to the third guy, without hesitation he answered: "I have never been unfaithful to my wife!"
St.Peter said: "Good man, take the Mercedes Benz sports and enjoy!"

A week passed by and the three guys met and noticed the guy in Mercedes crying, the two guys, quite surprised asked him why and he replied sobbing:
"I just saw my wife!", he told them.

Still puzzled one of the two asked: "Isn't that a good thing?"

He answered sobbing even more:
"No! the bitch was riding a skateboard!"