I want a Buddha in my garden even though I'm Catholic!

The new pope Ratzinger, I think that's his name, wouldn't like that, since he recently re-attested that the Roman Catholic Church is the only one true Christian religion. He's also bringing back the old Latin Mass.

Already, there's hardly any people attending mass, this is really gonna help people who don't understand a word of latin, "dominus pabiscum, espiritum, amen". It sounds kinky!

I think the Vatican Library should have newer books like
I don't know, Harry Potter?, that could be dangerous material for priests though I think, maybe Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, instead of reviewing all these dusty ancient Catholic Archives. Soon women will wear veils again to go to church!

Anyway, I still want a Buddha, the Chinese one,with the fat belly, he looks happy and very rich! I use to have a small piggy-bank Buddha when I was young, I put all my pennies in his mouth, then I take the tape off the tape from his ass when it was full. Why is the Thai Buddha so fucking skinny anyway? Too much spicy food and a lotta women? This could be dangerous, the Buddhists may put a $1 million tag on my head, just like Rushdie! Give me the million, I'll kill myself, make that in UK pounds at least, you don't go far with a million these days! Why didn't we (Catholics) ask for the head of Tom Hanks and the author of Da Vinci Code for blasphemy, or Scorcese for suggesting Jesus fucked Mary Magdalene? or nail Mel Gibson to the cross suggesting the Jews killed Jesus? Maybe because they're true?

I ask the waiter at the Chinese restaurant who those 3 wiseguys are in one of the pictures hanged, he didn't know because the only thing Chinese about him is his face, he's all Canadian white! My well read friend told me, they stood for health, wealth and happiness, and he's Italian for God's sake! One of my buddies at the table told me their names are actually: FUK, SUK AND LIK!

I'm seriously thinking of sculpting one! I just want a fucking Buddha!!!!! ::yes::yes::yes: